Living the accompanying Life


“Why breasts you so much?”, “Children sleep in the cradle,” and “you should not carry him so much, you’ll spoil him”, comments are Julia, 33, has heard repeatedly ever since her son was born ten months ago. Pointers come from well-meaning parents and other self-appointed adviser on children’s education in her lap, but their advice is sorely wasted it.

Because Julia breasts very often, the demand of her child, she is carrying her baby often and she’s let him sleep in bed curled up next to her, even in her tummy every time. And she does all this because she has no doubt in her mind to raise the child in accordance with his instincts and his own common sense is just what is ultimately best for her and her baby.

and Julia is far from alone. In fact, in most of the world’s mothers still raise their children every day by responding to immediate needs, carrying and wearing them and sleep with them, and mostly because they live in less modernized cultures without access to pushchairs, cots and literature on child rearing, so they simply do what comes naturally to them and stay attached to their children. Just as our ancestors from the early days.

The modernized our parents home, however, given a choice on how to raise their children. With access to great information on child rearing from literature to professionals, they have done and tried everything from putting babies to sleep on their stomach to let them “cry out” because they were encouraged to do so. It is no wonder that the first parents are sometimes confused about what to believe, especially since many therapists and teachers of children seem to change their mind about the best way to child rearing for each new decade, and because some of the method, widespread and popular in the past, have later been found to have adverse effects on the mental health of the child.

Perhaps that is why today we see a new tendency to return to normal and “traditional” way of parents promotes close contact between baby and mother. It is a way of raising children who keeps faith in Mother Nature’s Savoir faire, and this no-nonsense theory, which has worked well for mothers through the centuries, has been designated “attachment theory” in our modern society.

The term “attachment” was coined in 1960 by British psychiatrist and developmental psychologist John Bowlby (1907-1990) when he proposed a theory based on biological theory bond between a mother and her infant. Bowlby studied children under three years of age who were admitted to hospitals, institutions and other separated from their mothers, and found the relationship between mother and infant to be much stronger than previously thought (at the time Bowlby believed that mothers were the primary attachment, but later studies have confirmed that children form attachments to both parents). Bowlby first presented his theory of attachment in 1958 to draw much Ethological terms, and he as three different levels of segregation response among children and shown that children are more attached to his mother, the less they will despair when separated from her.

In subsequent research, Bowlby, along with fellow scientists Mary Ainsworth (1913-1999), further elaborated the attachment theory, and thanks to the “strange situation” – laboratory techniques for studying infant-parent attachment developed by Mary Ainsworth and her students – they went to have a formal understanding of individual differences in how children perceive access to the attached form and how they manage attachment behavior in response to a threatening situation

The “Strange. The situation” was created in the laboratory the child was separated and combined with an attachment figure and the child’s responses were observed. Ainsworth classified on individual differences in three attachment patterns: Secure children were upset when the mother left the room but easily comforted her when she arrived; anxiety-resistant children became very upset at separation, but who had a difficult time to celebrate when she came back, often show conflicting behavior that will be a comfort, but also to “punish” her mother at the same time; and personality shift children who do not appear distressed by the separation, and, upon Reunion actively avoid looking contact with their parents.

Ainsworth demonstrated that individual differences related to infant parental communication in the home during the first years of life; secure the child has experienced attachment figures responsive to their needs, but intense withstand or offset personality child has experienced attachment figures that are either insensitive and inconsistent with their needs, or simply do not exist.

Bowlby and Ainsworth found that a child who has attached a picture that provides a secure base will be playful, adventurous, less inhibited, smiling and more sociable than children without secure attachment to the mother, and they also found evidence that the lack of a child mother-image can lead to adverse effects on development.

Bowlby believed that attachment patterns established in childhood follows us through all our lives and affects the way we communicate with others, especially romantic relationships, and his theory has been further developed in adult relationships.

Modern attachment theory today has evolved from the work of Bowlby and Ainsworth. Many scholars disagree on how exactly the attachment theory should be applied in ideal child-rearing, but they generally agree that in order to achieve a faster mother (or other attachment figure) should be available and able to meet the needs of the child in responsive and appropriate manner. A parent can bring this nurturing relationship with the child wearing (carrying a baby in a sling or baby carrier), extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping and a constant attention and response to child physical and emotional needs.

William Sears, an American pediatrician, is one of the most prominent and popular proponents today of the attachment theory. Together with his wife, Martha Sears, a nurse, they have raised eight children included and are the authors of “The Baby Book”, they suggest attachments parenthood through seven B’s; birth bond; belief in the signs of your baby’s cries; breastfeeding; Baby Wearing; bedding near the child; balance and goals; and beware of baby trainers.

The easy-to-read style, Sears offer a great book utilize their knowledge of child development and detailed advice on how to carry out any attachment parents for individuals and lifestyle, and they remind us of the connection parents are fathers and can be practiced with other caregivers as well.

And while the full time working mothers are not ideal in the world of attachment parents, there are still plenty of ways that the mother can practice attachment parenting time with their children and create a strong bond between them. Sears suggests that a working mother is responsive and available to the needs of her child when at home, and she expects the loving caregivers who can practice attachment parenting in her place. A child needs to be held, go, we talked (included), but not necessarily always the mother.

Some parents fear attached parenting style will result in children who are spoiled, demanding and uneasy, but extensive research has proven otherwise shown to follow the children become confident, independent and sociable towards others. And several research studies show a clear link between inappropriate beloved children, depression, substance abuse, violence and even divorce in adulthood, as Naomi Aldo, Ph.D, reminds us in his book “upbringing of our children, increase in us.”

Like any theory of attachment theory has its opponents too, and most reviewers claim to demand feeding, as encouraged in attachment parents, is to blame for the growing problem we face today with obesity in children. However, a multi-year study conducted by researchers from Texas A & M University has recently put this criticism to the ground. The study, “Parental Time, Role Strain and Children Fat Consumption and Obesity-Related Outcomes,” was published in June last year by the US Department of Agriculture, and found a direct relationship between the amount and quality of time parents spend with their children and the percentage of children of obesity and found that the more time a mother spends with her child, the less likely the child is to become obese. However, the study found that the more time a father spends with a child, the more likely the child will be obese. Dr. Alex McIntosh, lead researcher and sociologist, airs his concerns about the interpretation of these results, and adds that mothers and fathers need to be directly involved with their children’s upbringing and be hands-on parents who set a good example. for their children through their own habits

Other critics seem to confuse attachment parenting with “permissive upbringing” indulgent style of parents of children and teens are allowed to set their own goals themselves. But attachment parenting is, as Dr. Sears reminds us, respond appropriately to the needs of your child, that means knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no.” Attachment parenting is a matter of relationships and balance -not being indulgent or permissive, yet to be attentive.

theory Bowlby and Ainsworth’s attachment based on a study of the relationship infants’ mother in the first three years of life, and is not intended to define education in older children and adolescents. However, Sears and other modern publishers attachment theory with the definition of Bowlby’s attachment that “sustained emotional ties between the child and picture attachments.”

Many paths lead to Rome, and there are many ways to raise a healthy, balanced and content baby, and last but not least – the melting point of all the therapists – is to create an environment for children’s charities, secure and stable, and, Dr. McIntosh says, provide a good example to our children through our own habits. The attachment method is the oldest and most natural method of child rearing, and it has proven to be excellent and fulfilling both the child and the child carers through the centuries and will inevitably continue to do so.


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